Omg, I am so tired. Two hours sleep, what was I thinking?
Anyways, Yeah this weekend was awesome and it's great to see Jess and the ppl again.
Now we're making some plans to go to festivals this summer. Pier Pressure and West Coast, here we come.
I can't believe I missed him all weekend, though I was away from him just 2 days and before I've been away from him like 9 months.
Its so wierd that he's saying he likes me now, after doing it for 9 months.
I mean, it's just 1 week left.
Anyways, lets see what's happen in summer. Maybe it can work, or can it?

Alex last night on earth

"It's the last night on earth before the great divide
My hands are shaking time was never on our side
And there's no such thing as a beautiful goodbye
As an ordinary day I prayed for you a thousand times

It's never enough
No matter how many times I tried to tell to tell you this is love

If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I
I'm gonna love you until the day I die
If tomorrow falls asleep can you hold me first
I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth
Like it's the last night on earth

A penny for your thoughts
A picture so it lasts
Let's knock down the walls of immortality
Your fingers on my skin only you can hear my fear
Only you can help me heal
I see forever with you here

It's never enough
No matter how many miles stand between us this is love "


Listening to this song, and all I can think of is you. I miss you so badly.
I can'¨t barely understand why, I really didn't know you.
I never got the chance to met you.
I don't know why we didn't, was it me, was it you?
I sat many times and thinking about if I should take my car and come over, but I was to shy to do it. Now I can't do more than regret it.
See your beauty, your smile, your eyes, your personality irl.
Now, it's too late, I hade the chance once, and now I don't.
Is it easier for me to take that your gone, or isn't it.
Have read so many cute and beautiful message meant only for you, and I can feel the happyness you've gave them, throught them.
Pray for you to come back, but I guess it's enough that you're the most beautiful Angel in heaven.
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm asking my gram to take care of you. She didn't know about you, but I hope she does now, that she knew my feelings from above, see more now than before. I wish you do to, just so you know how much you really means for me, how much it hurts, how many ppl who still do love you.
Please, understand that you're so much more than you thought you were. Please, do that for me <3

Rest In Peace Alexander Larsson

Can't believe it's true.
Why should it happen to you.
The most beautiful person in the world, you didn't deserve that.
You're not supposed to be gone, not now.
I can't stop crying.
You were my angel, the light from you in gone, the light wich should be there forever.
How could it end like this.

I miss you sweetie, alot.
Rest In Peace boy, I won't forget.
I love you <3

It sucks to have the wrong feeling about everything. Or am I wrong?
I dunno anymore, or do I, am I overreacting?
I was thinking about some stuffs.
Like, I know I am, do and look so much better then some ppl here, I feel the jealous.
Are they?
Are they trying to take my part?
Can they?
I can do so much better just if I wanted to, but its hard to take a decision.
Atleast I am the one who gets the hottest guys and most creds for clothes, point to mee!
I know I do, but still...
Why?
I miss the whole attention I used to get. Maybe its time for me to change again, i've been a little bitch those late days. But what did happen?
All just disappeared. I need the attention and I'm gonna take it back!
Ego? I dunno, doesn't matter, everybody is. I'm not the only one that needs it.
Jealousy is a curse!

Seriously.
I'm getting so tired of one person. She's acting like a freak to her x-boyfriend.
He broke up and she's totally wasted. She's screaming at him to leave her alone and go to hell. She can't even be at the same party as he is without being rad.
Then after all, ofc shes away and talking to him, and guess what, yeah, she's coming back, crying.
I don't understand what she want from him. She says she's not gonna talk to him, text him, call him, then that's exacly what she's doing, and if she doesn't, she's talking shit about him, hoping he got his heart broken, that the other girl SHE thinks was the reason for the break up are gonna play with his heart for fun.
Why being such a jerk. I mean, can't you just decide what you want. Either take him back, or don't. You just mess things up, for both of you. If I were him, I would never take you back, ever.
Yeah, I've act like a totalfreak to the guy I like too, but not like that. I don't ask him to go to hell, I don't wanna see him heartbroken. I want him, and cuz I know I can't, I can't do more than be happy for what I got and for him to be with others.
The different between us, is that I still keep fighting for him, to prove that he means more for me than he can imagine. I'll keep fighting til the end, no matter what. And I know he'll remember me cuz I live for love, and not for fighting cuz I'm jealous, like you!

Why, why, why?
I started to get over it after a month of not speaking to eather of you.
Why the hell did you broke your silence. You're such a fucking moron!
You can't talk to me or even see me when you haven't drinkin', then you getting drunk and its alright. To you!
I can't do more than laugh about your behavior.
How the hell do you think, why do you give a shit, now.
Leave me alone as I did for you.

What can I say, what can I do?

Everything that I do
It's never good enough for you
I do my best
Dress to impress
Wear my heart out of my chest
Going no where fast
I don't know where I'm at